Stars Dressed in Blue

Starry-Night-Over-the-Rhone

L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux. – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry


Knowing everything is a fatal flaw: History would tell us that even the mightiest rulers thrived not through knowledge, but through instinct. The shade of blue up above is full of uncertainties and doubts, yet here we are looking up to it every single day.

Every scene in the play that is life occurs for a reason. Every action comes with repercussions, and with every idea comes passion. We sit on our chairs doing nothing all day for the rest of our lives thinking this is what I am made for.

I felt like trash once because I saw myself as incompetent: full of stupid ideas and speaking nonsensical gibberish. I stood where I was because I felt like I belonged there. A friend told me once, “We are not being taught to be average by spectacular teachers and professors.” And I agree we should not strive for things already achieved but…instead leave a mark. A legacy of undecided tasks.

All my life I wanted to be someone different. Someone meant to leave something memorable, even if only the ones precious to me knew of it, for that special one dressed in blue. I look at the mirror with pity and sadness not because of a feeling of inadequacy…but because I kept missing the ones whom I wanted to see as the one. A sad feeling towards something cheerful, towards the sky. Staring at the sunset seemed to make everything fit into place.

I seem to choke when it always matters out of fear that I might never get the chance to go ahead and prove to myself that I could, for once, get close to the one whom I adore.

I was held down by my own vices and left with my broken devices in a place where it seemed too dull to even comprehend. We may think that every situation in life may seem so unfair, too one-sided, or too risky…but with every doubt comes something you won’t be able to forget. As I look up at the dark and cloudy skies I realize something: even the ones we adore get robbed of their light from time to time.

Though criticisms are like flies continuously buzzing around our heads waiting to attack, I believe that it only goes to our heads if we let it. The unrelenting pressure of what is there seems to choke the life of even the most experienced people. A cruel reality of unfinished and unfixable obstacles.

Passion drives people to do unorthodox things full of different death defying things. We live our lives puppeteered by our own judgments and decisions. Flaws and imperfections are there for you to realize that you shouldn’t look for only the perfect parts…but for the rotten ones as well. Some would say that flaws and imperfections are only there to hinder our possibilities with progress…but there will always be exceptions. People laugh at others misjudgments, full of glee and laughter while unknowingly looking past reality.

Looking at the blaring lights of the city makes us feel like we know who we are: we are a new generation, a new hue in the wheel of colors. We keep our own pedestals in our own places and yes, we may say that if we have resources, we are good and thriving in the place we live in. Everything around us is full of grief: curses flying everywhere inside a façade of the concrete jungle we live in. Explanation, inspirations, and perceptions full of undeniable expectations and continuous failures. I see many come and go for reasons told and untold like an enveloping mist.

Some laugh it off and just throw a sigh in the wind while some rise up to the occasion and make it their night, their moment to shine like blaring lights brimming with life. From the beginning, we are taught to learn and learn for the first half of our life to be able to work during the last half of it. But what is not taught to us is the essence of life. The one that makes us who we are. We tend to have in mind the desire to finish our studies and work our hearts out until we all burn out to achieve the average dream. Dreams are dreams not because they are hard or nearly impossible to achieve…but because they are something we want and strive for. In a highly technical world, we say that we need to be precise. Tn exchange we give up our dreams.

We say we haven’t seen a single soul we trust. In some cases, we would not even consider it. I’ve seen and have been with some of the most brilliant people I could have ever met while sitting on benches before taking the stage. As I walk along the intersections of the city I find myself looking for something: something that will let an ember burst into an inextinguishable flame.

After so many miles traversed, I’ve already seen the one. I wanted to know who she was. I was left stunned after assuring myself that I’d seen Polaris through nooks and indistinguishable parts of the night sky with sly grins and laughter, and that she’d carved a way to the dream. The person cloaked in blue who may traverse along the stars, making a simple alignment of the stars into the adored small bear or Ursa minor.

As I close my eyes all I see is the lady I adored like the stars: dressed in blue with a face that writes a million stories. The one whom I was mesmerized by even after so many attempts to look away. I always see myself staring at her from afar. A smile full of joy and uncertainties, an expression of emotion in its purest. As I lay looking through a loop of never-ending laughter and giggles, I feel at ease even if I may not be there. With glee and smiles, I stand to find my resolve to go and walk the beaten path.



“People with unmatched drives and inspirations are full of undying faith.

The ones who have seen and experience both failure and success are like an eagle inside a duck’s nest: born with innate instinct and drive to fly.

For out of the ones who love to look up at the sky, so few have noticed dreams of flight and of utter glory. What they ought to see is unending determination fueled by what they know as true. They are the ones who have truly earned the right to be one with the stars up in the hands of the gods and the messages of the constellations through Valhalla and Nirvana. Through a battle fought with courage, respects, and grandiosity. The ones who can truly be called a soaring phoenix.

We see the ones we have loved like stars: though full of flaws and imperfections, we still look up adoring them for they are our guide. With their fading lights, we ought to follow what we believe and what we love. Passion is something we do. Not because we expect payments, but for the sheer love for it. Anyone who has a passionate heart is a courageous person willing to give everything for what they love.”

(c) Jonas Angelo Catubay, Feature Editor of STELLARIS


The picture is taken from http://www.vangoghgallery.com/catalog/Painting/509/Starry-Night-Over-the-Rhone.html.

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